January 2014

Jan 12th – Dating – early

Matthew 1:18-25 “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel”  (which means, God with us).When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.”  ESV

Mary and Joseph had decided to do their marriage right.

Here, we find them engaged.  A very serious issue in those times; as it should be in ours.

It was like they were married but could not be left alone together, engage in intimate actions or any of that fun newlywed stuff.

In these days, Virginity had to be proven on the wedding night.

  • WHO:  Choose who you date well
    • 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” ESV
    • Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”  ESV
      • Do not be deceived!
        • There are many PIGS out there
        • Even a PIG can look good for a short time
        • Every PIG will show who they truly are in time – Self/Greedy/Devourer
        • You don’t want to become as stinky as a PIG
    • Do not date someone just because you don’t have a date
    • Do not date someone who lives a un Godly lifestyle
    • Do date the one who will respect you
    • Do date the one who will listen to you
    • The right person will love you the right way
      • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  ESV
      • Love does not FORCE you to do anything
      • Love does not GUILT you to do anything
      • Love does not LIE to you to get you to do anything
        • Love WAITS
      • Love does not HIDE things
        • Love does not lock their cell pone
        • Love does not go through your cell phone
      • Love is COMMITMENT
      • Love is FAITH
  • WHAT:  Choose what you wear well
    • Modesty
    • Like it or not, clothing sends messages
    • Think about how you look is speaking to your date.
    • Victoria needs to keep her secret until after the wedding!


  • WHEN:  Chose when you date well
    • First dates should be early
      • Not overnight
      • Not for 6 hours
      • Why – darkness breeds temptation
    • First dates should be short and in groups
      • Why
        • Gives you a time certain to escape
        • Groups provide safety
        • Groups provide cover
  • WHERE:  Choose where you date well
    • First, early dating is the time for bright, loud, crowded places
    • Intimacy, in any form, should wait
      • This gives a little time to get to know the real person
        • Anyone can hide a bad character for a few months
          • Look for these
      • Sex, should wait until AFTER the preacher says “I now pronounce you man and wife”
        • Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”  NLT
        • 2 Timothy 2:22  “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. ESV
          • Date at CHURCH
            • Bright, loud, crowded (hopefully)
            • This will weed out the piggy’s pretty quickly!
            • This also goes back to WHO you should date:
              • Someone with a pure heart that will not try to stain yours.
              • Someone who follows Jesus Christ
    • Your flesh may argue that it is your body and you will do what you want with it! 
      • Christian, Your body is not yours!
      • 1 Corinthians 6:17 – 20“But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin[e] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”  ESV


  • WHY:  Know Why you are dating
    • Let’s be honest:  Most people put too much weight in early dates
      • They over invest in what the other may consider a cheap investment
      • NEVER go ALL IN on an unknown hand!
    • Let’s be honest:  Dating is a time of REJECTION
      • Do not be sad at rejection
        • BE GLAD
    • Dating is like cleaning a garden
      • Remove the weeds so you can see what is fruitful
    • Dating is like test driving a new car
      • See what fits and what “features” you like BEFORE making a major investment
      • Never SETTLE for less than you want, need or DESERVE
      • Never settle for LESS THAN GOD’S BEST
    • Dating is like a box of chocolates:
      • You don’t know what you are going to get
      • There will be a few surprises
      • Most dates will be ok
      • Some dates will be really bad
      • Few will be awesome
    • Dating is like the Three Bears
      • Most dates are not quite right
      • One is just right
    • Dating is about taking the time and making sure you have the one who is JUST RIGHT
  • Make sure:
    • Your Dating GLORIFYS GOD!

Dating With Purpose – the Second Act – When Things Get Real

January 25, 2014 at 3:22pm

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Dating With Purpose – The Second Act

When Things Get Real

1.      Sooner or Later you will find someone you think MIGHT be The Right One

  a.     They seem like “A Keeper”

  b.     They seem “Just Right”

2.     Now What?

a.     It may be time for the next step

                                         i.     Going Steady

                                        ii.     Swapping Class Rings

                                      iii.     Buying those split heart necklaces

                                      iv.     Becoming Exclusives

b.     Whatever the terminology is:

                                i.     You both make a decision to date ONLY EACH OTHER

3.    Ok:  Now What

        a.  Once You make that commitment – KEEP IT

b.     Love is Commitment

                i.     Commit to your Lord

  1.     If some boy or some girl tells you they will make you number one in everything – DUMP THEM NOW!  Their priorities are all wrong.

  a.     Well dump them or bring them to church – they may be salvageable

2.     No matter what you do KEEP GOD NUMBER 1!

3.     Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before me.” ESV

Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” ESV

                       ii.     Commit to your Word

1.     James 5:12 “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” 

                     iii.     Commit to your Promise to them

1.     Proverbs 5:15-16 “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?”

2.     Stay Faithful

                     iv.     Commit to your PURITY – and THEIRS

1.     You may be EXCLUSIVE but you are NOT MARRIED

a.     Things could still change

b.     This is a higher level of dating but still part of that weeding out process

2.   Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”  NLT


a.     No means NO – NO MATTER how much you want to say yes!

b.     There is still no marriage

1.  Not JUST an engagement ring!

c.      There is no Binding Relationship

By the Law of the Land

By the Law of GOD

Dating/Going Steady/Engagement was much more closely linked with marriage than our modern engagement. But the actual marriage took place only when the groom took the bride to his home and the marriage was consummated in the sexual union.

  1. Date with PURPOSE! 
    1. Love God – The RIGHT way
    2. Love Others – the RIGHT way